IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
Nowadays, a variety of commodities is produced which has led to cut-throat competition between rivals. Some
people
 believed that publicity plays an important role in convincing customers to purchase while other
people
 think,
advertisements
 are being neglected by the passing of time. I agree with the significant role of advertising on
people
's minds to some extent. I am
also
 going to discuss the issue with consideration of both sides.
Although
, the number of
advertisements
 is increasing it has not put a significant influence on
people
's minds in persuading them for buying things.
In addition
, some
people
 find repetitive
advertisements
 annoying and started to get bored after watching them over and over. It is argued, they can easily be ignored.
For example
, when
people
 are watching a movie on youtube, the ads that appear can easily be deleted by clicking skip ad. The majority of
advertisements
 are
moreover
 considered dishonest due to fake publicity.
For instance
, they show famous celebrities are using and satisfied with their goods but it has been revealed celebrities just do it for making money. Repetitive advertising can
on the other hand
 considered as a washing brain for a wide range of consumers. When they are watching those commercials every day those specific brands unconsciously stick on their mind.
As a result
, when it comes to choosing a product in similar commodities, the product they had seen in the
advertisements
 catches their eye. If advertising is doing great in an enticing large number of
people
 to buy their things due to the fact that they are just showing good features of their products and negative sides are hidden by
this
 way they are trying to show how far better our products are. In conclusion, the wide range of
advertisements
 that can be seen anywhere
such
 as
people
 phones, television, billboards maybe bothers some
people
. I personally believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they can be useful to boost
people
's awareness about new commodities and discounts which have been recently published in the market only if producers create and do their
advertisements
 in the right way.
Submitted by rezakiani525 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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