Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?

#celebrations #festivals #countries #theses #people #governments #money

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Public celebrations can be joyful and usually, people wait for them from time to time. One good thing about these events is that they unite families and friends together. Each country spends at least thousands on these parties annually.

Nonetheless

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, I think that these ceremonies are quite expensive and it is wise to spend the money on other important fields.

First,

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we have education, it is the foundation of each society. The better the learning of the children, the better the community will be. Nowadays, the population has increased and more schools and universities need to be built. To illustrate, in Saudi Arabia, 70% of the citizens are youth. For that, the system of education needs to be enhanced to ensure a great future for the nation.

Secondly

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, the health sector. Providing a good healthcare system will give people a decent life quality. Rural areas ,

for instance

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, need to have fully prepared hospitals. Most of the time, patients from small cities find it necessary to travel to other places in order to get suitable health care.

For example

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, as a medical intern, I have seen numerous children who come all the way just to get a treatment

that is

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not available where they live.

To conclude

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, some countries should stop using money in public celebrations and use it where it is needed.

Such

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as, in educating civilians and in giving healthcare since

this

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will develop the nation and give a bright future for everyone.

Submitted by amanihejji on Thu Aug 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

You provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
economic boost
local economies
social cohesion
national unity
educational value
government spending
public services
healthcare
infrastructure
balanced approach
national identity
community
tourists
social harmony
historical significance
younger generation

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Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries legal driving age is 18 years old. Some people believe it is the right age to learn how to drive a car, whereas others say that the minimum age should be 25. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, the rate of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with this?

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.