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Band 5.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in cities and towns closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #cities #towns
With the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology, a surge in online shopping has been considered
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 few years which may be an indication of the closure of
off line
Correct your spelling
offline
show examples
shops
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
cities
 and
towns
 in
future
. I advocate
this
 notion that online shopping facilities have many merits to replace
shops
 of
cities
 and
towns
 in terms of a good
time
 savers and come with numerous
discounts
. Let us discuss these meticulously in the impending paragraphs. To start with, there are many reasons that may assist online shopping to replace
towns
 and
cities
shops
 in
future
 which can never be neglected.
First
 of all, since online shopping does not need
people
 to go out
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping, it could save a lot of their
time
. To explain, while opting
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 online shopping method for shopping,
people
 in
future
 may need not to go out for shopping from local
shops
 of
cities
 and
towns
 and they can easily order the things by using mobile or laptop.
Thus
, not only will
people
 in
future
 can rely more upon online shopping to save
time
 but
also
 they can spend the saved
time
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other productive activities.
For example
,
a
Remove the article
apply
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painstaking research has been conducted by Oxford University in the UK over a group of 1500
people
 in June
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 2014 apparently described that 92% of them had accepted that they saved enough
time
 after using online sites for shopping in comparison to going out for shopping on
cities
 and
towns
shops
.
Furthermore
, while using the facility of online shopping,
people
 may get good and exciting offers. To elucidate, online shopping could be very conducive for
people
 in
future
 when it comes with huge
discounts
 and offers and
this
 can save up to 30-50 % of the money of
people
.
Therefore
, no sooner do
people
 save a hefty amount of money from online shopping than they can certainly continue to choose
this
 method mostly
instead
 of
shops
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
towns
 and
cities
.
For instance
,
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 Business Council, an international department to check the views of customers in the UK, had mentioned in their report in March 2015 that many customers had been shifting from offline shopping methods to online shopping as they got many
discounts
 and offers there. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that online shopping has the capability to overshadow the importance of
shops
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
towns
 and
cities
 as it can be a good replacement for in-person shopping sites. I advocate the fact on the basis of the points that online shopping has many pros including a good
time
-saving technique to be used and having myriad
discounts
 which may help it to replace
towns
 and
cities
shops
 in
future
.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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