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Band 4

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth
Every
nation
 has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 different tradition and norms.
Similarly
, aged people get high
respect
 in some cultures, while in others
youngsters
 are considered more valued. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perspectives and
then
 form my opinion. Proponents of
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
view-point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 contend that old people have more experience and wise knowledge as they have come
accrosse
Correct your spelling
across
 many
situation
Change to a plural noun
situations
show examples
 throughout their life.
World
Add an article
The world
show examples
 can get
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 benefit from their experience. So, due to huge knowledge and precious
experience
Add a comma
,experience
show examples
 they get more
respect
 in society.
Moreover
, they claim that grown ones
also
 sacrifice their whole life to offer
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life to their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
. They have done
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 of hard work to make their children's
future
 bright.
Consequently
, they do not get high
respect
, they earn it through their hardships for their new coming generations. Advocates of
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
view-point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 keep up that
youngsters
 are
back-bone
Correct article usage
the back-bone
show examples
 of a
nation
, they are the
future
 of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
. They will become the
future
 doctors,teachers,engineers and will contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the development of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
. As the development of
nation
Add an article
a nation
the nation
show examples
 is fully dependent on its youth,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 they get more
respect
 .
Furthermore
, they argued that
youngsters
also
 have adapted
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 technology in
far
Add an article
a far
show examples
 better way, where old ones are still grappling to learn fundamental use of technology. So, they have a notion that old people have served enough as they can and now all the spotlight should be on the
youngsters
 because they are the coming
future
 of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
. In my opinion,
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 population get huge
respect
 in society owing to their wise wisdom and better eyesight. They
also
 make
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 place to live for their coming generations. Whereas
youngsters
 are considered
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 of a
nation
 with
strength
Add an article
the strength
show examples
 to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 new technology
that is
 why they are more valued in some cultures. I think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
respect
 of different age groups is different according to the mindset and expectations towards them by society.
Submitted by ladero on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
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