IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #success #life #risks #chances #results #support
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Some people believe that progress is achieved by taking
risks
Use synonyms
 and chances.
While
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 others believe that
success
Use synonyms
 comes from better and
careful
Correct quantifier usage
more careful
show examples
 planning. From my own experiences and observations, I believe that better results come from careful planning. In
this
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 essay, I will give my reasons to support my answer. First of all, I believe that careful planning helps a person to analyse his goal more deeply and make realistic
goals
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. With a well-planned approach, he knows exactly what he wants. It not only gives them a clear path towards
success
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 but
also
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 helps them in their
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
. Taking chances,
on the other hand
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, does not give the opportunity to clearly understand a goal. A person just wants to do something to move forward and he takes
risks
Use synonyms
 when there is no need for it.
Secondly
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, careful planning teaches people time management which assists them to reach their
goals
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 with fewer
risks
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. They become more patient and calm. They plan every step very well.
This
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 allows folk to find easier ways to reach their
goals
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 and faster move forward.
On the other hand
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, those who prefer to take opportunities without planning may spend more time and money as well without any improvements waiting for a chance to take.
For instance
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, a famous wrestler Bajrang Punia earned his fortune by following the rules that he established for himself.
Therefore
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, only planning and hard work can bring out
success
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.
Finally
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, careful planning teaches them not to give up and try to find other ways to reach their
goals
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 in the case of failure.
To sum up
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, I personally think that all those who succeed in life would agree with me that their
success
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came
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 with hard work and careful planning rather than just taking high
risks
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 alone.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main thesis.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to showcase a higher level of language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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