Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “When people succeed, it is entirely because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with their success.” Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

It is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that working hard is a key factor to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
successful rather than having good
fortune
.
However
, I disagree with
this
assertion on account of fact that luck
such
as living in a good environment is crucial to
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
a better life. There are certain reasons.
Firstly
, a fine environment affects
people
to be
successed
Correct your spelling
succeeded
.
Although
individuals
work
badely
Correct your spelling
badly
, if a country where they live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is poor, the public cannot become rich. In some developing
countries
, despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that a significant number of
people
diligently
work
forever, they will never
excape
Correct your spelling
escape
from poverty due to the poor society.
For example
,
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
a workforce
show examples
in poor
countries
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
to emigrate
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
own
countries
to have a chance to
work
in developed
countries
in order to find
fortune
Correct article usage
a fortune
show examples
. As the example clearly illustrates, the lucky environment plays
a
Change the article
an
show examples
imtortant
Correct your spelling
important
factor to be successful.
Secondly
, it is
a good luck
Remove the article
good luck
a bit of good luck
a stroke of good luck
a piece of good luck
show examples
to live in
non-
Add an article
a non-hierarchycal
show examples
hierarchycal
Correct your spelling
hierarchical
culture as
people
can achieve their goals without considering levels. In some
countries
, owing to hierarchy, only poor citizens have to pay excessive taxes, thereby leading to
increment
Correct article usage
an increment
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
gap between the poor and the rich.
For instance
, in India, even though
lower-leveled
Change the spelling
lower-levelled
show examples
people
work
very hard, they never become high-class
people
.
Therefore
, it is reasonable to point out that a
fortune
that they live in a parallel society is needed to live a successful life. In conclusion, while I accept that
hard
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
is helpful to succeed, I would point out that
fortune
is
also
an efficient means to live a better life.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Persistence
  • Diligence
  • Effort
  • Performance
  • Competitive fields
  • Practice
  • Talent
  • Serendipitous
  • Opportunities
  • Timing
  • Privilege
  • Connections
  • Inherited
  • Networks
  • Entrepreneurs
  • Right place at the right time
  • Preparation
  • Opportunity
  • Lucky breaks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: