There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The curriculums at school, nowadays, are providing
students
to gain knowledge on academic and non-academic subjects
. However
, the pupils have to deal with stress management on
studying both Change preposition
in
areas
, which are considered to remove the non-academic subjects
from the syllabus. I strongly agree that in order to be fit as the industry needs skills, students
should focus
on academic work.
Putting forward academic skills would be beneficial for students
to prioritize their chosen field, whether science or social areas
. There are plenty of job opportunities that are looking for employees in STEM, which is related to math, physics, or chemistry subjects
. Hence
, developing students
' capabilities in these areas
would be easier for them to define their careers in the future.
Furthermore
, young people who are able to focus
on academics have the potential to achieve stand-out achievements at school. They can join competitions, Olympics, or even debates which are useful to increase their strength areas
. Students
at high schools, for instance
, could register for math competitions and focus
on studying their weaknesses harder. As a result
, they will be more competent and obtain comprehensive knowledge about math subjects
in that its implementation for life.
To conclude
, the school curriculum should be evaluated as what the students
need to develop the main academic potential work. It can be through Correct article usage
the removed
removed
Replace the word
removal
the
non-academic Change preposition
of the
subjects
so that students
could feel less anxiety with their focus
. Although
academic subjects
are essential for young people, I acknowledge that classes like physical education and cookery will provide added value for students
' competency. However
, those subjects
can be developed as an extracurricular activity outside the primary education.Submitted by anastania.melinda on
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, your essay should address the prompt more precisely by developing a range of ideas and examples that reflect upon the importance of non-academic subjects, in addition to emphasizing academic subjects. This could involve exploring potential benefits that subjects like physical education and cookery bring to the students' overall development and critical thinking skills.
coherence cohesion
In order to improve coherence and cohesion, it is important to use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to link ideas more naturally throughout the essay. This could involve more varied transitions to show cause and effect, contrast, and to add information. Additionally, paragraphs should be clearly separated by ideas and should all serve the clear purpose of supporting the main thesis.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion mirror each other more closely, restating your main argument in different words in the conclusion. It would also be beneficial to provide a concise summary of the main points discussed, in order to tie the essay together more conclusively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.