It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. You can learn just as much from books, films, and the Internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#travel #places #cultures #people #books #films #internet

Many educators say kids should be taught to play musical tools. I do not think

everyone

Correct pronoun usage

all

show examples

children can play musical instruments. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it can play by highly

skill

Wrong verb form

skilled

show examples

children. In my opinion, it should be

intersted

Correct your spelling

interested

and learned from

Remove the article

apply

show examples

youth. But, many educators say to teach a child to play

a musical instruments

Correct the article-noun agreement

a musical instrument

musical instruments

show examples

. I think

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

idea is wrong. I do not agree

wiht

Correct your spelling

with

this

opinion. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

everyone

Change noun form

everyone's

show examples

children should choose according to their interests. In conclusion ,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

musical instruments should be studied who are interested in it and

Change the capitalization

show examples

think, they like to play musical tools.

Submitted by Weallneedit9 on Fri Mar 11 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

99 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Authentic experiences
Cultural immersion
Sensory learning
Cost-effective
Language barriers
Interpersonal interactions
Balanced approach
Virtual tours
Lived experiences
Credibility of sources
Misconceptions
Multicultural competency
Stimulate curiosity
Digital platforms
Stereotypes
Environmentally sustainable
Hands-on experience
Global perspective
Biased information
Cultural nuances

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is recommended that children in primary school should be encouraged to learn how to plant vegetables and rear animals. The benefits of this involve learning and understanding the hard work it takes to do these activities, thereby promoting appreciation. Moreover, the process of learning such a skill could endanger a child's life as some animals can be unpredictable.
4
band
Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? Provide examples for your opinion.
Really, children are not born with instructions to maintenance. So, it maybe seems logically to participate on some parenting class for purpose to understand what does it means to be a parent. For my opinion, it may be right for young parents before childbirth, and only some instructions about the first days of life. But in my experience, the basic habits, knowledge, aims we can convey to our children without any special classes. Moreover, I can say that I disagree with the statement in the topic for several reasons.
5
band
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
In some nations, people are getting heavier and standards of health and well-being are falling. This essay will suggest that the principal cause of these issues is the type of nourishment they are eating and submit a government education program as a viable solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion. The main cause of the health crisis currently affecting so many individuals is over-consumption of poor quality sustenance. Convenience food and junk food, such as microwave dinners, chocolate bars, McDonald’s and pizza, have become a ubiquitous part of modern life. Eating too much of these high fat meals causes many to gain weight and this has knock-on effects on someone’s general wellness. For example, the movie ‘Super Size Me’ demonstrated that a person who eats this kind of food all the time will not only get fat but also suffer from such things as raised blood pressure and even fatty liver disease. The most practical solution to this problem is a government-sponsored awareness cam...
6
band
Money offered for post graduate research is limited; as a consequence, some people argue that financial support from the government should only provide for scientific research rather than research for less useful subjects. Do you agree or disagree?
It has been observed that the government fund supports some valuable thesis. Many people say that managers ought to support main scientific research in a state of less useful projects. I firmly agree with the given statement. My indication is elaborated in ensuring paragraphs and relevant examples.
5
band
Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.
With the target of renovating the faces of cities, the government has decided to financially invest in art works. These contributions have made significant improvements to many cities so it can be a worthy place to live. However, whether its necessity is still controversial in different aspects.

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. You can learn just as much from books, films, and the Internet. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? Provide examples for your opinion.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Money offered for post graduate research is limited; as a consequence, some people argue that financial support from the government should only provide for scientific research rather than research for less useful subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.