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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Young people are increasingly choosing to eliminate meat from their diets and become vegetarians. Do you think this is a good idea? Does it bring more benfits or drawbacks? write an essay of 200-250 words

#people #meat #diets #vegetarians #idea #benfits
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In recent years, many young people have chosen to eliminate
meat
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 from their diets, embracing
vegetarianism
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 for various reasons.
While
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this
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 shift has its merits, it is essential to weigh both the benefits and drawbacks. One of the main advantages of
vegetarianism
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 is its positive impact on health. Diets rich in fruits, vegetables, and plant-based proteins can reduce the risk of chronic diseases
such
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 as heart disease, diabetes, and obesity.
Additionally
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, avoiding
meat
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 helps lower cholesterol and saturated fat intake, contributing to a healthier lifestyle. Environmental benefits
also
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 play a significant role in
this
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 decision. Livestock farming is a leading cause of greenhouse gas emissions, deforestation, and water pollution. By opting for plant-based diets, young people can contribute to environmental sustainability and combat climate change.
However
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,
vegetarianism
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also
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 comes with challenges. Eliminating
meat
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 may result in nutrient deficiencies if not managed carefully. Proteins, iron, and vitamin B12, which are abundant in
meat
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, must be adequately replaced with plant-based alternatives.
This
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 requires knowledge, planning, and often a higher budget for
specialty
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speciality
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 foods. Social and cultural factors
also
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 come into play. In societies where
meat
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 consumption is central to traditions, young vegetarians may face challenges in social settings.
Overall
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, the shift toward
vegetarianism
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 among young people is a positive trend with notable health and environmental benefits.
However
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, to maximize these advantages and minimize drawbacks, individuals must approach
this
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 lifestyle with careful planning and a balanced diet.
Submitted by caivankihh779 on

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task achievement
Expand on specific examples or statistics related to health and environmental benefits for a stronger argument.
task achievement
Ensure that cultural and social challenges are tied back to the main argument to enhance relevance.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear connections between points to enhance flow between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a well-structured introduction and conclusion, providing a clear, concise overview of the topic.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured with clear argument progression and supported main points.
logical structure
The writing contains a logical structure with supported main points that enhances understanding.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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