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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #time #do-rather #support
Even though there is a popular statement that
People
 today spend too much
time
 on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do, I have a different opinion. I strongly disagree with
this
. I feel
this
 way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin
 with, spending
time
 on personal enjoyment-doing things is associated benefits on what they do. It really depends on their preference which is sometimes what they do is helpful for them. My personal experience is a compelling example of
this
. About three years ago, I moved to the United States by myself which is all of my family was still in my country. At that
time
, I did not know how to cook.
Moreover
, I spent a lot of money to buy each meal. Along with
this
, I started watching Youtube every night 2 hours before my bedtime that how I am able to cook nowadays.
In other words
, If I had not started learning cooking, I would have bought food for each meal which cost money.
As a result
, spending more
time
 on what they like is more beneficial than wasting their
time
.
Secondly
,
people
 today spend more
time
 working than ever before, which means they intend to do their work to be completed.
people
 spend more
time
 at the workplace than previously. Some
people
 are hard-working because they have serious obligations.
For instance
, back in Thailand, when I was working as a registered nurse, I worked more than 12 hours a day because there was a shortage of staff so I had to replace those workers.
Additionally
, I had only 2 days off. I worked hard because I needed to pay my debt of buying a car.
However
, I was happy to do it because it was my job. If I had not worked at that
time
, it would not have had enough staff.
Therefore
, spending more
time
 will make
people
 have their responsibility. For all reasons stated above, I encourage all
people
 to do what they are happy when they are doing. If they do
this
,
then
 they will discover that spending
time
 on what they like will associate benefits and overcome their obligations.
Submitted by mafrey_playgirl on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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