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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life #yourown
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These days, some
people
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 hold the view that
competition
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 is a good way to improve themselves, in their daily life. But
others
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 support that
people
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 should cooperate with different
people
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 from different backgrounds.
This
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 topic is popular and common all over the world. In my opinion, I agree with the latter
one
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. I believe that cooperation is more important than
competition
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. On the
one
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 hand,
competition
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 with
others
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 can motivate students to work harder than their classmates, they will get good grades in the future.
For example
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, at school, students after attending exams,
they
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apply
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will have a report card from the top
one
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 to the
last
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one
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. Teachers believe that it is a good way to check whether students study hard, meanwhile, schools can help our nation to find
Add an article
a person
the person
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person
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people
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 with
ability
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the ability
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 to promote the development of our nation.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 can learn more skills and abilities through cooperating with
others
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. As far as we all know,
people
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 always meet different
people
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 from all walks of life. Different
people
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 are good at different parts of knowledge. Especially, at work,
people
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 cooperate on an assignment with their friends,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 will learn something new. It is a good method to improve themselves. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other abilities will be increased,
such
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 as teamwork skills, problem-solving skills, communication abilities and more. In my opinion,
people
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 should enjoy the process of cooperating with
others
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. It is
also
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 a good way that
people
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 can make more relationships,
as well as
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 it is
also
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 a wonderful action that
people
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 can bond their relationship with their workmates. In conclusion,
competition
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 can drive progress and individual achievement,
while
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 cooperation can lead to more lasting.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that we should strive to strengthen cooperation rather than
competition
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 with each other.
Submitted by 13230556086 on

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task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of the two views on competition and cooperation, and you stated your opinion clearly. However, aim to include more specific examples to support your points, especially when discussing the benefits of cooperation.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured with clear transitions, consider refining the connections between ideas for smoother reading. Adding cohesive devices could enhance your essay's flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and your opinion.
task achievement
You maintained a focused discussion throughout the essay, addressing both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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