International travel is becoming cheaper, and several countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#travel #countries #doors #tourists

As a medical professional, I have a strong interest in combining technology with my healthcare expertise to enhance the treatment and life quality of

patients

. Recently, I have had an opportunity to collaborate with a start-up on a digital care project that aims to create chest wearable devices to help physicians monitor COPD

patients

easier by collecting

physiological

Correct article usage

the physiological

show examples

parameters of

patients

remotely. We have

also

developed an A.I model

that is

capable of predicting early COPD exacerbations based on hospitalization history and abnormal symptoms from collected data.

As a result

, physicians can monitor remotely, increase self-management of

patients

, intervene promptly and avoid hospitalization. I have acknowledged how technology applications can help improve

patients

’

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

and I am motivated to conduct

further

research projects on developing A.I models that can predict chronic disease progression and exacerbation by analyzing healthcare big data, biomarkers,

patients

’ history and medication. Both

patients

and physicians will be alerted by messages when

exacerbation

Add an article

an exacerbation

show examples

is detected. Enrolling on the health informatics program will help me sharpen health data analysis skills, upgrade my competency of handling medical complexity by using technology and prepare to lead A.I based changes in the healthcare settings in the future.

Moreover

, being admitted to the Vector program will be a great opportunity to gain deeper knowledge in the field and broaden my network with

like minded

Add a hyphen

like-minded

show examples

A.I experts. I strongly believe that my passion, abilities, academic achievements and related work experience will make me a strong candidate for

this

program.

Submitted by npanhtuan09 on Sat Mar 12 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

246 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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