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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people are happy to spend their whole lives in the same area. Other people prefer to live in many different areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #lives #area #areas
Some
people
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 happy and
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 all life in the same area but some
people
 move and go
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
place
. I think it good for
people
 to go to many
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
 and check if they like
or
Correct pronoun usage
it or
show examples
 not and
then
 decide to
living
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 there with family. Living in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
city
 has many
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
 and so many
people
 like living in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 area. It is very easy to reach the mother home for
a girls
Correct the article-noun agreement
girls
a girl
show examples
 if marry
boy
Add an article
the boy
a boy
show examples
 in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 town.
For example
, I live in Delhi and my
mother
Change noun form
mother's
show examples
 house is 10
minute
Fix the agreement mistake
minutes
show examples
 from my
husband
Change noun form
husband's
show examples
 house. So very easy for me to ask my mother help for
Change preposition
to bring
show examples
bring
Change the verb form
bringing
show examples
 up my children. So, I like
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in Delhi because my family live there. On
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side, it is
also
 good to go
many
Change preposition
to many
show examples
 different
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
 to see which is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
place
 for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 my husband
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 in many
city
Change to a plural noun
cities
show examples
 before coming to Canada and I bring my children
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 high school here. We living here for 2 years and like
this
place
also
. Canada
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 for the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 education so
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 is more good here than my
city
, Delhi. In total, both
option
Change to a plural noun
options
show examples
 to living in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
place
 since
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
 or
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
 to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
place
 is both good but
people
 must check what is best for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 of
Add a hyphen
family-like
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their family
show examples
family
Change the noun form
families
show examples
 like job, education and life before
finalize
Change the verb form
finalizing
show examples
 the final
city
.
Submitted by Toni R on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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