Country are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Due to globalization, it is generally acknowledged that the public can spend budgets on
the
Correct article usage
apply

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similar
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

everywhere in
this
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contemporary society. Some world population argue that it affects negatively.
However
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, I strongly believe that it is beneficial. There are certain reasons. On the one hand, some people have concern that using the same
products
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can decrease the national identity of the citizens who live in minor
conturies
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countries

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. It is common to purchase the
goods
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that are exported from rich nations
such
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as America and China.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
avoriginal
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aboriginal

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people neglect
trational
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traditional

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commodities.
For example
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, recent media reports that
first
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nations have lost their culture owing to by using modern
products
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. The example clearly
illustates
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illustrates

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, having the same
goods
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can be a key factor in destroying national identity in certain societies.
On the other hand
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, choosing the same commodities can reduce the
conflic
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conflict
conflicts

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between countries since rapport is
fomed
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formed

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by purchasing them, thereby leading to making a relationship.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by the Korea
Consmerist
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Consumerist

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Foundation has revealed that 10%
Koreans
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of Koreans

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tend to be more friendly to a
foriegner
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foreigner

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who uses the same Korean product.
Therefore
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, it is reasonable to point out that having a
relation
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relationship

The word relation doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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with buying the same
goods
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be an efficient means to understanding each other.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, using the same
products
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can reduce the gap between the poor and the rich. Due to industrialization and automation, the price of
goods
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

become affordable.
Hence
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, poor children can have electronic devices
in
Change the preposition
at

The preposition in may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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less
Correct article usage
a less

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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costly
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices

It seems that price may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
In particular
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Cambodia, common affordable electronic
devices'
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devices

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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companies
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as Samsung and Apple facilitate
childeren
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children

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to study, so they provide a chance to reduce the disparity between the rich group and the poor group. In conclusion, while I accept that using the same commodities in the world can sometimes be negative as it declines national identity,
but
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I would point out that the positive sides overwhelm the negative aspects.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural homogenization
  • unique cultural identities
  • cultural diversity
  • consumer choice
  • economic impact
  • international corporations
  • economic disparities
  • local employment opportunities
  • knowledge exchange
  • cultural understanding
  • global unity
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainability
  • standardization
  • quality and safety standards
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