IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In recent years, there has been an increase in bad behaviour, poor discipline and anti-social behaviour in schools. Tough measures and stricter punishments by schools, parents and others are necessary to stop this trend. What are the advantages and disadvantages of stricter discipline for young people?

#years #behaviour #discipline #schools #measures #punishments #parents #trend #people
Children
 are like a white paper that adults can teach in the correct ways before they are going to school. After
children
 go to school they will copy and learn some kind of bad behaviours, poor discipline, and anti-social behaviour from their friends.
Therefore
, teachers and
parents
 have a very important role to stop
this
 trend. From my point of view, there are many advantages and disadvantages of stricter discipline for their
children
, which will be described in the following paragraph. Talking about the advantages,
first
 of all, teachers and
parents
 are the
first
 front line to suggest their child. If the guardians try to inform and suggest about the ethics, their child will understand and accept that rules certainly because sometimes they act like their friends and they do not know which one is good or bad.
Next
, teachers and
parents
 should always help each other to give the reasons why it is not appropriate to act badly to others both at school and home.
Children
 will understand more and not do that action again. Meanwhile, There are briefly disadvantages if guardians put more pressure to strict their
children
. There is one type of
children
 that they will disobey when
parents
 keep telling and forcing them to do. They will act the opposite way from the advice.
Moreover
, most
children
 are stubborn. They think that their thinking is the best and the advice from their
parents
 are not make sense.
Therefore
, they will not listen to what
parents
 are talking about. In conclusion, there are many advantages and disadvantages of stricter discipline for
children
 according to the above paragraph. The guardians should find the appropriate ways to handle their
children
 because they are the person who knows
children
 the most.
Submitted by prabpolpaporn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: