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Band 7.5

The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree?

#job #money
Money is extremely the bone of contention within a family and most individuals who were dominant inside the households requires a stable source of income to stabilize the fundamental way of living. I believe that money is essential in our lives,
however
, there is an immensely crucial factor to put into consideration in performing a career.
Firstly
, the individual’s
safety
 must be the major priority to consider in any facilities where they are working because it will give the worker an assurance that they will survive after
work
.
For instance
, a construction worker in Canada who receives a tantamount remuneration with no proper
work
safety
 gear will jeopardize their health once a hazardous event may occur at the job site.
Thus
, life will vanish in just a snap of a
second
 since the company is not adhering to the implemented
safety
 rules and regulations.
Consequently
, labourers will tremendously suffer the negative factor that the company is practising by not abiding by the labour law and the huge salary is no more beneficial to the workers’ lives since they are already in a vegetative situation after encountering an inevitable accident at
work
.
Secondly
, a harmonious surrounding at
work
 is imperative to the person's well-being so that they could efficiently function in their profession.
For example
, a nurse working in one of the prestigious hospitals like Kuwait Oil Company whom they are collecting a triple amount of salary compared to other facilities might suffer a debilitating mental problem for the reason that politics in each department is rampant. Even though how many decades they are engaging with the establishments and how commendable their performance is, still promotion is not acquired legally.
Hence
,
this
 kind of environment will contribute an abominable mess to the mindset of the health care provider which hinders the excellent rendering of high-quality care and services to the client. In summary, a high amount of monthly income is beneficial to individual survival,
however
, the
safety
 of their lives and harmonious working surrounding
are
Correct your spelling
area
show examples
 the most empirical factor that the vast majority of workers needed the most for better
work
 and life equilibrium.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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