The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree?

#job #money

Money is extremely the bone of contention within a family and most individuals who were dominant inside the households requires a stable source of income to stabilize the fundamental way of living. I believe that money is essential in our lives,

however

, there is an immensely crucial factor to put into consideration in performing a career.

Firstly

, the individual’s

safety

must be the major priority to consider in any facilities where they are working because it will give the worker an assurance that they will survive after

work

For instance

, a construction worker in Canada who receives a tantamount remuneration with no proper

work

safety

gear will jeopardize their health once a hazardous event may occur at the job site.

Thus

, life will vanish in just a snap of a

second

since the company is not adhering to the implemented

safety

rules and regulations.

Consequently

, labourers will tremendously suffer the negative factor that the company is practising by not abiding by the labour law and the huge salary is no more beneficial to the workers’ lives since they are already in a vegetative situation after encountering an inevitable accident at

work

Secondly

, a harmonious surrounding at

work

is imperative to the person's well-being so that they could efficiently function in their profession.

For example

, a nurse working in one of the prestigious hospitals like Kuwait Oil Company whom they are collecting a triple amount of salary compared to other facilities might suffer a debilitating mental problem for the reason that politics in each department is rampant. Even though how many decades they are engaging with the establishments and how commendable their performance is, still promotion is not acquired legally.

Hence

this

kind of environment will contribute an abominable mess to the mindset of the health care provider which hinders the excellent rendering of high-quality care and services to the client. In summary, a high amount of monthly income is beneficial to individual survival,

however

, the

safety

of their lives and harmonious working surrounding

are

Correct your spelling

area

show examples

the most empirical factor that the vast majority of workers needed the most for better

work

and life equilibrium.

Submitted by maymosqueda on Sun Mar 13 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

353 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many countries raise fuel prices to deal successfully with problems of traffic and polluon. What effects do you think this move can have? What other measures do you think can be taken to reduce traffic and pollution ?

Populations in developing nations are rapidly growing, people now believe that we should turn to GM crops to increase the production of food grains. Discuss the Advantages and Disadvantages of this approach.