Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children that are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

Different

people

have different views about a sense of

competition

children

. There is a heated

dabate

Correct your spelling

debate

that has sparked all over the world. Some believe that the elder should encourage

children

concerned with the thinking style of

tournament

Add an article

the tournament

show examples

while the others think

co-operation

should be taught compared to

competition

to be more mature and effective adults. In

this

essay, the

discsussion

Correct your spelling

discussion

of both ideas and my

prespective

Correct your spelling

perspective

will be mentioned.

First

and foremost,

competition

can make the youth hardworking. There is no doubt that everyone

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to be the winner

hence

, they become more

perseverance

Replace the word

perseverant

show examples

In addition

, by participating in the

competition

, a lot of great experiences and motivation can be got.

For example

, a male student who take part in the

tournament

of essays,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will automatically get the writing and research skills. What is more, the experience of the

competition

can give many benefits for the students.

Children

can prepare

Change preposition

for their

show examples

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

mistakes that they did in the

tournament

and become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

perfect youth.

On the other hand

co-operation

also

a good opinion when it comes to useful

people

. It is undeniable fact that

co-operation

is very essential in our daily life.

This

is because it can improve our communication and

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

skills.

Moreover

, it helps

people

to complete their tasks more quickly.

Besides

, It

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

required skills

such

as having respect other's opinion to the

children

to be effective adults.

, by doing co-operate, different ideas from the members of the team will be got.

Last

but not least, the

children

can have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better communication with

collegues

Correct your spelling

colleagues

and meet new friends. As far as I am concerned, both of them are good ideas but I prefer

co-operation

rather than

competition

This

is because

competition

may make the

children

more greedy and

attacker

Fix the agreement mistake

attackers

show examples

. When

people

eager

Add a missing verb

are eager

show examples

to win very extremely, they tend to do unusual things

such

physicial

Correct your spelling

physical

violence to their opponents. Unlike the

tournament

co-operation

teach

Change the verb form

teaches

show examples

the teenagers how to struggle

Change preposition

with a

show examples

hard situation or how to solve the problems together.

Submitted by tthoon21 on Sun Mar 13 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

338 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children that are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The world should have only one government rather than a national government for each country. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government have the responsibility to change the situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

plastic products should be recycled? do you agree or disagree?