: It is a good idea for teenagers to have jobs while they are still students. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#idea #teenagers #jobs #students

There has been a controversial argument about whether or not high

school

students should

work

simultaneously with studying. Personally, I partially agree with

this

view because it is a two-sided sword. On the one hand, I believe that having a

job

as a student would negatively affect their performance at

school

. They have to allocate their time to

work

instead

of study which may decrease their grades.

For example

, when they have an exam, they need to study a lot but if they have a

job

, they will not have enough time to prepare.

This

could

also

lead them to leave the

school

In addition

, working is likely to distract them and tiredness in consequence. On top of that, they may be exploited by their manager and colleagues because they are too young to be aware of their rights as an employee.

On the other hand

, having a good part-time

job

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

benefit them more than the above-mentioned drawbacks.

Firstly

, they gain valuable experiences by working with adults.

In other words

, they might learn proper behaviour in a workplace to make good connections which would be helpful in the future.

Secondly

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are likely to learn practical skills to become a professional, especially if they

work

in the field of construction.

Finally

, having

work

experience on their CV might impress their prospective employer.

For instance

, if they have

work

experience in programming, they will be more suitable and have more chances to get a

job

in a big company. In conclusion,

although

working during high

school

would be hard and have some negative impacts, in my opinion, the potential benefits are worth trying.

Submitted by Sarah_nazari on Sun Mar 13 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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