Both men and women care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fashion is one of the most famous trends nowadays between both genders. It is undeniable that both men and women care more about their appearance today than they did in the past.
This
topic can be quite debatable, but I strongly agree with it. One reason why
people
paid
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
more attention to how they look today is because of the high beauty standards and trends. In the past,
people
used to live a more simple life and did not really care about their appearance.
However
, there is the possibility that
people
are getting more dressed up as time goes by to match the beauty standards,
such
as being pretty, skinny, feminine, or even looking masculine. It goes without saying that
this
also
happens
due to
the fear of being compared with other
people
.
For instance
, lots of women do extreme diets to the point they only eat once a day to keep their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
in shape.
Submitted by audreynikkijoe on

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coherence cohesion
Develop the second reason in a separate paragraph to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive introduction by outlining the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Ensure to provide a conclusion to summarize the essay's main points.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and debatable argument.
task achievement
The example given about women and extreme diets is relevant and specific.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a good attempt at structuring the argument logically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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