IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe women are better leaders than men. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (rewrite)

#people #women #leaders #men
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The debate over whether
women
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 make better
leaders
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 than
men
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 is a contentious one. Proponents argue that
women
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 possess unique qualities
such
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 as empathy, attention to detail, and strong negotiation skills that make them effective
leaders
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.
On the other hand
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, critics claim that
women
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 are often too emotional, irrational, and slow in decision-making, which can be detrimental in competitive business environments.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives and explain why I believe
women
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 can be better
leaders
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. It is often argued that
men
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 are naturally better suited to
leadership
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 roles
due to
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 their logical thinking, rationality, and quick decision-making abilities. These traits are seen as essential in today’s fast-paced and competitive world, where
leaders
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 must make tough decisions quickly and efficiently.
Additionally
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, societal norms and gender roles have historically
favored
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favoured
show examples
men
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 in
leadership
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 positions, as evidenced by the fact that the majority of national
leaders
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 around the world are
men
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.
However
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, I strongly believe that
women
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 often excel as
leaders
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 because they bring empathy and a more nuanced approach to
leadership
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.
While
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 logical thinking and decisiveness are important, a great leader must
also
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 possess emotional intelligence and the ability to connect with their team. Empathy enables
leaders
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 to understand and address the needs and concerns of their subordinates, fostering a positive work environment and promoting collaboration. Studies have shown that companies led by
women
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 often experience higher employee satisfaction and productivity, as
women
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 are more likely to value and prioritize the well-being of their teams. In conclusion,
although
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men
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 are often viewed as strong
leaders
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due to
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 their logical and decisive nature, I believe that
women
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’s empathetic and inclusive
leadership
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 style gives them an edge in effectively leading others.
Therefore
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, I am of the opinion that
women
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 have the potential to be outstanding
leaders
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, often surpassing their male counterparts.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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task achievement
While your essay is clear and well-structured, adding more specific examples or case studies could strengthen your points. For example, discussing specific female leaders who have demonstrated these qualities would make your argument even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Consider integrating a few more transitional phrases between your paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. Smooth transitions help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You successfully present a balanced view, addressing both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional intelligence
  • democratic leadership
  • participation
  • collaboration
  • diverse leadership
  • decision-making
  • problem-solving
  • perspectives
  • compassionate
  • empathetic
  • supportive work environment
  • historical data
  • research
  • female-led businesses
  • financial performance
  • multitasking
  • managing complex projects
  • teams
What to do next:
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