IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people use technology to take advice for their medical problems rather than seeing to doctor. Why this is so. It is positive or negative development according to you.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many a time,
people
Use synonyms
 resort to
technology
Use synonyms
 for the diagnosis of a physical ailment rather than consult a
doctor
Use synonyms
. I feel that
such
Linking Words
 an action might have a detrimental effect on a person's health and not a positive impact. Throughout
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will dwell on the reasons for
such
Linking Words
 behaviour and provide reasons for why I believe it is a negative development.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many
people
Use synonyms
 are reluctant to go to the
doctor
Use synonyms
 for treatment, as they trivialize the discomfort in their body and are of the opinion that
such
Linking Words
 an issue does not warrant a visit to the clinic.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, certain individuals have financial constraints and are of the opinion that a visit to the medical practitioner will create a dent in their pocket.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 use the world wide web or online consultation from a practising medical professional for treating their illness.
For instance
Linking Words
, even though the WHO had asked anyone suffering from the symptoms of the Covid infection to visit their nearest clinic and consult a
doctor
Use synonyms
, a majority of the population still googled their symptoms and took home remedies. Another reason is that
people
Use synonyms
 in rural areas do not have access to proper healthcare facilities but due to the advent of telecommunication might have access to the internet. I am of the opinion that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 prevention is better than cure.
Moreover
Linking Words
, no
technology
Use synonyms
 can replicate a thorough physical checkup by a licensed
doctor
Use synonyms
. Many a time, an individual might be subject to multiple tests and checks to find out the root cause of a disease which is not possible through
technology
Use synonyms
. Other times, the symptoms of various illnesses may be mixed up on the internet and it becomes difficult to find out the cause of a disease, which
further
Linking Words
 delays the treatment and can escalate into a major problem.
For instance
Linking Words
, fever is a common trigger for many biological issues including cancer, unless there is a blood test advocated in a hospital it is close to impossible to detect cancer. In conclusion, a man of medicine cannot be replaced with
technology
Use synonyms
. Every ailment has a specific methodology of curing which cannot be processed by
technology
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: