IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

#rise #country #benefit #cities #areas
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Increasing the quality of living most likely provides more improvements in the
cities
Use synonyms
 of a country compared to rural areas.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline some possible reasons
as well as
Linking Words
 suggest some solutions to mitigate the issue. One of the reasons that may cause
this
Linking Words
 problem is population.
While
Linking Words
 today,
cities
Use synonyms
 are the most populated areas of any country, governments are faced with more challenges in these districts.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many facilities and standards planned or built are based on the urban rather than the countryside.
For example
Linking Words
, urban traffic is a problem that leads to
Correct article usage
the constructing
show examples
constructing
Replace the word
construction
show examples
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 roads with higher standards, an aspect that rural zones might never encounter. The economy is
also
Linking Words
 another reason for more advantages in urban.
Due to
Linking Words
 the industries and other businesses in these regions, the economy flows more
efficient
Change the word
efficiently
show examples
, resulting in significant attention of authorities to make improvements toward exploiting the potential of
cities
Use synonyms
, and
Consequently
Linking Words
, fewer benefits for rural.
However
Linking Words
, there are several approaches to resolve
this
Linking Words
 issue.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, governments should persuade their citizens to live in the countryside by making more facilities and motivation plans,
in other words
Linking Words
, having a relatively equal population in all regions of the country.
As a result
Linking Words
, authorities can easily make developments with no conflict in other areas.
Finally
Linking Words
, having sufficient income for rustic residents can remarkably help balance the living quality for everyone.
This
Linking Words
 can be provided with more job opportunities in the suburbs. A good example in real life is Japan which offers more salaries and better jobs in unpopulated
cities
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, as the primary reasons mentioned,
although
Linking Words
 many of the rises
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 standards affect the
cities
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 can be easily solved by governmental actions in short and
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 schemes.
Submitted by alisabagh1853 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improvement
Task Response: Ensure that all aspects of the given prompt are fully addressed in the essay. Provide more specific examples related to the impact of standard of living on both cities and rural areas.
improvement
Coherence and Cohesion: Consider structuring your essay with clearer topic sentences and supporting details for each main point. Use transitions to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: