In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

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Nowadays, there has been a controversy regarding whether economic development has supported individuals to become wealthier in both developed and developing

countries

Use synonyms

or not.

On the other hand

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, some believe that those who are living in developed

countries

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are still not

satisfied

Rephrase

as satisfied

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as they were in the past.

This

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essay will explore two major reasons why people are dissatisfied and the lessons learned from

this

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situation. One significant reason why people are unhappy with their current lives is possibly

due to

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environmental

issues

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. To expand

this

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, the exploitation of natural reasons has played a crucial role in contributing to

this

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problem.

For example

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, it is reported that some

high class

Add a hyphen

high-class

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individuals in the United States may prefer to use private jets that consume a higher amount of fuel, which can lead to increased air pollution.

Consequently

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, the majority of individuals will eventually have to look after their physical health

issues

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such

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as respiratory problems.

Additionally

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, the harmful effects on environmental

issues

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can serve as a lesson for the government to take action from

this

Linking Words

weakness by avoiding repeating the same mistakes in the future,

as well as

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by raising the awareness of their citizens.

Moreover

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, the intensity of racial discrimination is

also

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an important factor prevalent in developed

countries

Use synonyms

For instance

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, an increase in immigrants owing to World War II in 1945 or political

issues

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in Korea could be an underlying reason for some Korean immigrants. Because of

this

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, the conflicts between people in the

countries

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could be raised from a clash between perspectives and racial stereotypes

along with

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verbal or even physical abuse.

As a result

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, it can be mitigated by the role of education, including educating young children about racial diversity and respecting other traditions. In conclusion,

although

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the growth in economic development is successful in both developed and developing

countries

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, there might be some ongoing conflicts or unsolvable problems in the society that can potentially affect their citizens’

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

bua.sarocha.7.2Thu Oct 31 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve the connection between ideas, especially between the negative factors discussed (environmental issues and racial discrimination) and how they relate directly to the lack of perceived happiness in developed countries.

task achievement

Clarify how the examples provided (such as the use of private jets and immigration due to war) specifically relate to the unhappiness in developed countries, perhaps by linking them more explicitly to the broader concepts discussed.

task achievement

Provide a more explicit conclusion addressing what can be learned and how these lessons can be applied, ensuring a clear closure to the argument presented.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the issues to be discussed, providing a strong start to the essay.

task achievement

The essay includes specific examples to support the points made, such as the mention of private jet use and historical immigration trends.

coherence cohesion

The essay is structured logically with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Economic growth
Material wealth
Affluent societies
Social cohesion
Isolation and loneliness
Work-related stress
Professional expectations
Aspirations and reality
Environmental degradation
Sustainability
Consumerism
Comparison
Life balance
Mental well-being
Community relationships
Sustainable development

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In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Your opinion

most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Popular events like football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

Some people feel that there is too much emphasis on getting an education, and that the government should spend money on leisure time activities for young people too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people buy new models of phones, computers and other technology immidately while others prefer to buy after a while they launch. disuss both views and give your opinion.