In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Nowadays, there has been a controversy regarding whether economic development has supported individuals to become wealthier in both developed and developing
countries
or not.
On the other hand
, some believe that those who are living in developed
countries
are still not
satisfied
Rephrase
as satisfied
show examples
as they were in the past.
This
essay will explore two major reasons why people are dissatisfied and the lessons learned from
this
situation. One significant reason why people are unhappy with their current lives is possibly
due to
environmental
issues
. To expand
this
, the exploitation of natural reasons has played a crucial role in contributing to
this
problem.
For example
, it is reported that some
high class
Add a hyphen
high-class
show examples
individuals in the United States may prefer to use private jets that consume a higher amount of fuel, which can lead to increased air pollution.
Consequently
, the majority of individuals will eventually have to look after their physical health
issues
such
as respiratory problems.
Additionally
, the harmful effects on environmental
issues
can serve as a lesson for the government to take action from
this
weakness by avoiding repeating the same mistakes in the future,
as well as
by raising the awareness of their citizens.
Moreover
, the intensity of racial discrimination is
also
an important factor prevalent in developed
countries
.
For instance
, an increase in immigrants owing to World War II in 1945 or political
issues
in Korea could be an underlying reason for some Korean immigrants. Because of
this
, the conflicts between people in the
countries
could be raised from a clash between perspectives and racial stereotypes
along with
verbal or even physical abuse.
As a result
, it can be mitigated by the role of education, including educating young children about racial diversity and respecting other traditions. In conclusion,
although
the growth in economic development is successful in both developed and developing
countries
, there might be some ongoing conflicts or unsolvable problems in the society that can potentially affect their citizens’
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
Improve the connection between ideas, especially between the negative factors discussed (environmental issues and racial discrimination) and how they relate directly to the lack of perceived happiness in developed countries.
task achievement
Clarify how the examples provided (such as the use of private jets and immigration due to war) specifically relate to the unhappiness in developed countries, perhaps by linking them more explicitly to the broader concepts discussed.
task achievement
Provide a more explicit conclusion addressing what can be learned and how these lessons can be applied, ensuring a clear closure to the argument presented.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the issues to be discussed, providing a strong start to the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples to support the points made, such as the mention of private jet use and historical immigration trends.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured logically with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through the argument.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Material wealth
  • Affluent societies
  • Social cohesion
  • Isolation and loneliness
  • Work-related stress
  • Professional expectations
  • Aspirations and reality
  • Environmental degradation
  • Sustainability
  • Consumerism
  • Comparison
  • Life balance
  • Mental well-being
  • Community relationships
  • Sustainable development
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