Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children that are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

There is a heated debate that has sparked all over the world. Some believe that it is important to boost young children a mindset of the tournament while it is considered that

co-operation

is more suitable to be taught compared to the

competition

because they think it would be a big help to be effective adults. In

this

essay, a discussion of both ideas and my opinion will be mentioned.

To begin

with, participating in a

competition

is a good thing to do regardless of winning.

People

can get a lot of benefits from a game

such

as a great experience, motivation and friends. What

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more, games make the youth more active, fresh and hardworking

Change the punctuation

show examples

In addition

, while preparing for the

competition

, uncountable knowledge about the title or topic can be got.

For example

, participating in the historical essay match,

Remove the article

apply

show examples

wisdom of the history

such

as what was happening in the respective country and how did elder

people

overcame can be noticed.

Nevertheless

, most

people

tend to win the final resulting selfish and making bad things to opponents.

On the other hand

co-operation

also

an important skill that every young

people

should practise since they were young. There is no doubt that

co-operation

can improve teamwork skills, communicating skills and other required skills in daily life.

Moreover

, at least two

people

have to work together and share their ideas to co-operate.

Therefore

, teenagers are more likely to respect other

people

's views and they become more patient. Most importantly, if the children have the habit of

co-operation

, they have more chances of getting more opportunities in every field. To sum up, I more prefer

co-operation

rather than

competition

Although

their targets are the same which is winning or finishing the task perfectly,

match

Add an article

the match

a match

show examples

may bring negative thinking and physical violence.

Hence

, I believe that the advantages of

co-operation

outweigh the merits of

competition

Submitted by tthoon21 on Mon Mar 14 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children that are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You took your family to a nearby restaurant. You were disappointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In the letter: explain why you were at the restaurant describe the problems write about the action you want the manager to take

Nowadays, more people would instead purchase food than cook at home. ‎What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?‎

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development ?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?