IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people believe that it's good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research,Businesses and academic worlds. Others believe that some information is so important and valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #businesses #worlds
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Overall,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 from outside for both the years and Canada the least. Though, in comparison to the total strength of
Use synonyms
students
Add a comma
,students
show examples
 the percentage of foreign
students
Use synonyms
 studying in the USA was the least. From the data provided in the bar chart, we observe that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in the USA from abroad stood at 175,000 in 2004, which saw a significant increase by almost 42% to 250,000 in 2012.
However
Linking Words
, only 2% of the total
students
Use synonyms
 were foreign for 2004 and 2012.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Canada had
similar
Change the article
a similar
the similar
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals from abroad, for college, for both the years. The figures
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 were a little under 50,000 in 2004 and just over 50,000 in 2012.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of foreign
students
Use synonyms
 was between 5% to 7%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
UK
Use synonyms
 and Australia had a very similar profile on the
number
Use synonyms
 of people coming from other countries as
students
Use synonyms
. In 2004 the
number
Use synonyms
 of pupils
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 roughly the same at close to 125,000.
However
Linking Words
, Australia’s proportion of foreign to local
students
Use synonyms
 was higher by 10% to that of
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 at 19%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, both countries saw an increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of foreign
students
Use synonyms
 in 2012. Though
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 saw a higher increase as compared to Australia at close to 200,000 thousand
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
Australia still dominated the proportion of outside
students
Use synonyms
 to local
students
Use synonyms
 at close to a quarter. Which was 10% more than the
UK
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amritdutta90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • innovation
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • unfair advantages
  • misuse
  • valuable
  • protected
  • monetized
  • confidentiality
  • progress
  • safeguards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: