Some people think that success is mainly measured by how much money a person has. To what extent do you agree?

#people #success #money #person

Success

has been viewed as a desirable goal of human life which

people

are trying hard throughout the best years of their lifelong to achieve

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. It is widely accepted that one of

the

Change the article

show examples

integral

part

Change to a plural noun

parts

show examples

of being successful is being wealthy.

However

, I am completely in disagreement with the above-said view. The following essay will overlook two important reasons that explain why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

can not bring

success

Firstly

, happiness is the fundamental

pilar

Correct your spelling

pillar

show examples

feelling

Correct your spelling

feeling

success

that usually be achieved by spending

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

enjoying our lives.

For example

, the more we spend

time

on our hobbies the more we are satisfied and happy.

In contrast

, earning

money

needs working hard and spending the majority of our days even weekends pursuing our careers and goals which is incompatible with enjoying our lives.

Consequently

, the rich

people

who work most of their lives can not be assumed successful

people

unless they have

time

for enjoying life.

Moreover

, successful folks are those who are famous in their careers which does not necessarily

means

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mean

show examples

the ones who are earning more.

For instance

, a famous carpenter in a small town can

feels

Change the verb form

feel

show examples

more successful than a regular doctor in a big city who is earning

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

Although

most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

popular

Add an article

the popular

show examples

people

might earn enough due to the great number of customers, there are many

people

who

has

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have

show examples

not been increasing their customers' fees and

subsequently

are not wealthy despite

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

being famous. It means that fame makes it possible to be successful without being rich. To sum up, having enough

money

does not guarantee

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

success

. I believe that being happy and famous are playing

Add an article

a more

show examples

significant role in achieving

this

goal since the

time

spent on earning

money

prevents the former and the

latters

Correct your spelling

latter

letters

latter's

one is not always the consequence of being rich.

Submitted by panizfathi70128 on Mon Mar 14 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

success
financial wealth
measurement
achievements
entrepreneurs
personal fulfillment
philanthropy
accomplishments
well-being
material possessions
status symbol
indicators
self-actualization
monetary gains
non-materialistic
social impact
status
fulfillment
aspiration
well-off

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Some people think that success is mainly measured by how much money a person has. To what extent do you agree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Stress related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this. What is solution can you suggest?

The amount of time spent on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other suggestions can you suggest?

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city.Discuss both views and give your opinion.