IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life.

#people #fashion #items #cost #money #part #life
Fashion
 is a very important part of someone's character. Your
fashion
 style can say many things about you. The way you dress can define you in modern society.
Fashion
 has been an interest to
people
 throughout history, it has just changed as we see it progress and have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 form of
quality
 and use. Some
people
 argue that
fashion
items
 are too expensive, others find it reasonable for the
quality
 and rarity of the item or brand. Many kids want to be like their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 celebrities that have very expensive taste or that are being paid to wear certain
items
 from the brands themselves that are trying to be more global. Some teenagers ask their parents for these expensive
clothes
Replace the word
clothing
show examples
items
 but others can'
t
 afford them. It is commonly known that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very rich celebrities
such
 as Mark Zuckerburg, Elon Musk, and Bill gates, three of the richest
people
 in the world that buy
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
clothes
.
This
 shows that the celebrities that are wearing these
clothes
 are getting paid to buy these brands for advertisement. I personally believe that there are many
fashion
 styles and designs that are not that expensive but can look very good. I think
people
 who can'
t
 afford
or
Correct pronoun usage
it or
show examples
 who don'
t
 want to spend a lot of money on
clothes
 should buy cheap good
quality
items
 from local stores. I don'
t
 believe that
Fashion
 and designer brands are expensive because of their
quality
, I believe they are expensive because of the brand name and relevancy.
Submitted by z.pfister on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic gap
  • impractical consumer behavior
  • overspending
  • accumulation of debt
  • materialism
  • superficial values
  • self-esteem
  • self-expression
  • psychological benefits
  • social benefits
  • quality of materials
  • craftsmanship
  • sustainable practices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: