IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life.

#people #fashion #items #cost #money #part #life
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In the
world
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,world
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 today
fashion
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 is one of the most spoken topics for teenagers and young
adults
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. Some of these
people
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 argue on whether the high prices for certain products are acceptable and others say it's acceptable because
fashion
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 is important to them.
Firstly
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i
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I
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 will be talking about if these high prices are acceptable to pay for. Most
people
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 today find that certain
fashion
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 products are a key part
in
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of
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 their life so they don’t mind the price of the product. Some other
people
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 get pressure from their other peers or family that they are untrendy. Due to these
comments
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,comments
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 most
people
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 are peer pressured into spending a lot of
money
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for
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on
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 new
clothes
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. A lot of young teenagers
also
Linking Words
 look up to their celebrities and
on
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apply
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how they dress so these young
adults
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 would like to look like their
favorite
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favourite
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 celebrities. Most
people
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 who aren’t really fond of
fashion
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 have other thoughts in which they completely disagree on the high prices
people
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 set on
clothes
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. What these
people
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 are trying to say is that they are trying to warn young
adults
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 who still depend on their
parents
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parent's
parents'
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money
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 because after they start work they would have difficulties in affording new
clothes
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 due to the fact that they are saving up for certain needs. In the point of view of older
adults
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fashion
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 isn’t an important asset in their life so all these parents and grandparents totally disagree that all these products cost way more than normal designer wear or clothing. In my personal
opinion
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,opinion
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 I both disagree and agree
for
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with
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 both points because I understand the fact that
fashion
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 is big but you don’t need to buy a lot of it so you could save more
money
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 for other more important assets. So I think that you can buy fewer designer
clothes
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 and still have
money
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 for your needs.
Submitted by z.pfister on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic gap
  • impractical consumer behavior
  • overspending
  • accumulation of debt
  • materialism
  • superficial values
  • self-esteem
  • self-expression
  • psychological benefits
  • social benefits
  • quality of materials
  • craftsmanship
  • sustainable practices
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