IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture.We can learn as much as from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern society, the topic of how to learn about culture remains a source of debate, with some arguing that
resources
Use synonyms
 like
books
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, films, and the Internet are sufficient.
However
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, I believe that travelling to different places is a more effective way to understand and appreciate local cultures. It is true that with the development of technology, information about different cultures is now readily accessible.
Resources
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such
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 as
books
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, movies, and online platforms allow people to learn about other countries’ histories, traditions, and lifestyles without leaving their homes.
For instance
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, documentaries often provide detailed insights into foreign customs, and
books
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 can vividly describe historical events or cultural practices.
Additionally
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,
this
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 approach is cost-effective, particularly for those who face financial constraints or lack the time to travel. Relying on these
resources
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 can significantly reduce the expenses associated with transportation, accommodation, and other travel costs.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that travelling to other places offers a deeper and more authentic understanding of local cultures.
Firstly
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, experiencing life firsthand in another country allows individuals to engage with the local lifestyle,
such
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 as participating in traditional activities or enjoying regional cuisine.
This
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 direct experience can create lasting impressions that no book or film can replicate.
Secondly
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, travelling reduces cultural biases. Many
resources
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, like
books
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 or movies, are often influenced by the author’s personal perspective, which may lead to stereotypes or incomplete portrayals. Personal interactions with locals help challenge these preconceptions and provide a more balanced view.
Lastly
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, visiting cultural landmarks or natural landscapes not only broadens one’s horizons but
also
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 offers an emotional connection to the culture, enhancing the learning experience. In conclusion,
while
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books
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, films, and the Internet can provide convenient access to cultural knowledge, travelling to different places offers unparalleled opportunities for authentic experiences and direct engagement with local lifestyles.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that travelling is an essential way to gain a profound understanding of culture.

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Task Achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to illustrate the points, particularly in the paragraph about travelling. Specific anecdotes or statistics can strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one, perhaps by explicitly connecting ideas to ensure natural progression and make it clearer how each point builds on the last.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, summarizing your stance effectively.
Task Achievement
You have offered a clear standpoint and responded fully to the task, discussing both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are well-supported with general reasoning, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural immersion
  • authentic experiences
  • diverse perspectives
  • comprehensive
  • historical context
  • facilitates
  • sensory and emotional depth
  • holistic understanding
  • cultural bias
  • stereotypes
  • discernment
  • virtual reality
  • convenience of access
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