IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People today can use the internet to learn about lives and cultures in other countries, so it is necessary to travel anymore.Do you agree?

#people #internet #lives #cultures #countries #travel
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The
internet
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 is the best way that
human
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humans
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 can learn a lot, has become a big part of
life
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 .
People
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 can learn about
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life
Correct article usage
the life
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 and cultures of other
countries
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 by using the
internet
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 and
there
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it
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 is necessary to travel . I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and I think that human needs more meet new
people
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 and knowledge.
First
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at
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of
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 all, one of the major concerns individuals used to travel and not only to experienced about other
countries
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.
For example
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 , tourists are visiting
countries
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 like Indonesia , India to experience the climate. Even though
people
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 can learn about other things from the
internet
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.
People
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’s
perspective
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perspectives
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 and
imagination
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imaginations
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 are being played by the
internet
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 and sometimes the things on the
internet
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 are not real. Their social skills are getting worst
,
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apply
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 because some of them
seems
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seem
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are
Change the verb form
to be
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 attached
their
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to their
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 computers, phones etc. They can have a chance to go and learn more things
such
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 as languages like English ,Spanish, French etc.
Second
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, If
people
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are only search
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are only searching
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information
Change preposition
for information
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 from the
internet
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 about the culture,
life
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 and different
countries
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then
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 their
life
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 will become more boring. Exploration of a new place gives more personal knowledge and understanding. It makes memories and new experiences it helps their personalities. In conclusion, I believe that travelling to other
countries
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 to learn about other cultures and
life
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necessary
Add a missing verb
is necessary
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. Much better than
seem
Correct your spelling
seen
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over
Change preposition
on
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 the
internet
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 and it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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 only about the cultures but
also
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 make
people
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’s
life
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 more imaginative.
Submitted by 2563150921 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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