Nowadays children watch a lot of Tv and play video games. however some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. what extent do you agree or disagree

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Recently, technology has played an enormous role in our lives
besides
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the significant help that we receive from
the
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apply
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technology there are some drawbacks to it.
consequently
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, children play a lot of video
games
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and they are watching TV for a long time.
However
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, some people regard
this
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as a waste of time and harmful to children by affecting their mental health. In
this
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essay, I will give examples and provide reasons why I totally agree with the statement. First and foremost, we must guide them toward success by providing useful things to them
instead
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give them the freedom to do
such
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things. To illustrate, involve them in educational programs after school like those which teach them skills
besides
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playing movement
games
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with peers that will give them several benefits
as well as
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keep them away from devices.
Furthermore
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, they will gain a wide experience socially which is crucial for them.
secondly
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, avoiding screens is a magnificent demand that we must support with strict rules and with the strength to keep them in good health because screens are affecting their eyes and minds.
This
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obligates parents to seek other alternatives and solutions to control
this
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issue.
For instance
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, establish a playground in the backyard that contains a variety of movement
games
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such
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as swings and sand
games
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.
Finally
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, a recent study has proved that using devices under 18
years
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old must be done under control,
according to
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the study there are 4 age groups under 2
years
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old strictly forbidden to use any device, 2-6
years
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old just half an hour daily, 6-12
years
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old allow them for two hours every day, and 12-18
years
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old they can have 4 hours maximum of the total exposure to screens. In conclusion, our children are our responsibility so we should stand up and take care of them.
However
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, from the reasons and the examples that I mentioned in
this
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essay, I would say I totally agree with the statement.
Moreover
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, wasting time on video
games
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and TV could not give them any benefits.
As a result
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, seeking alternatives is a crucial demand.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion and the main points you will discuss in the essay. This will give the reader a better roadmap for what to expect.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to signal the main idea. This will help the reader understand the flow of your argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. While you mentioned educational programs and playgrounds, further details or studies would strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, which is crucial for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a logical structure to the essay, with distinct paragraphs for each point discussed.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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