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Band 4.5

/ 1 point WRITING TASK 2 Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older? Write 250 words.

#point #parents #children #consequences #style
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It is widely known that
parents
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are always buy
Change the verb form
are always buying
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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things for their
children
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 and they allow their
children
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 to do whatever they want. I believe
that is
Linking Words
 not
the
Correct article usage
a
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 good way to raise a child, because
parents
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 need to
intoduce
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introduce
 them
with
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to
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 something
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
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 good, and something not. So, when they are older, they could be a well-mannered person. I think it is better for
parents
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 to guide their
children
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 to give something that
really
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is really
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 good for them.
For example
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, when the
children
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 were asked
a
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about a
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video game,
parents
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 should not buy one, because there might be
better
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a better
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 present to give to their
children
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, like a book, or
a school equipment
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school equipment
a piece of school equipment
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. So, the
children
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 will be informed that the video game is not suitable for them yet, it is better to spend their time
to study
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studying
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, or
read
Wrong verb form
reading
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 a book. With that kind way of parenting, the
children
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 will learn that there will always be a reason behind something.
For instance
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, the
children
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 will realize that spending too much time with video games is not that good for their health, because they will only be sitting, and doing no physical
move
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movement
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.
Hence
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, they will be well-prepared for things that they are facing in the future
,
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apply
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 and become
a
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apply
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well-mannered
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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. In conclusion, despite
of
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apply
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many
parents
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 prefer to buy all the things their
children
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 asked, and allow them to do everything, I think it is better for them to tell their
children
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 which thing is good, and which thing is not. So, in the
later
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latter
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 days, the
children
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 would understand why they are taught that way.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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