IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Nowadays, many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all the people can live together harmoniously?

#countries #cities #people #world #government
It is true that a lot of nations have become cosmopolitan as many
people
 choose to live along with others from different backgrounds. In order to create a society where everyone lives in peace, the governments should make it possible for
people
 to build good relationships with one another apart from nurturing respectful behaviour in schoolchildren. One of the effective solutions to ensure a community where everyone lives harmoniously is for the
government
 to come up with proper and sustainable plans so as to encourage
people
 to get to know one another better and build rapport.
For example
, the authorities can organise cultural events occasionally where every individual can participate and have fun regardless of their difference in religions, traditions, and beliefs.
This
 will allow
people
 to bond with others, and perhaps end up resolving the misinformed belief they used to have.
In addition
, they can make arrangements for religious leaders in the country to meet on a regular basis so that they can discuss the issues concerning each organisation and find solutions to potential conflicts between different religious groups. Another step
government
 officials can take to persuade
people
 to live together peacefully is by nurturing respectful behaviour in schoolchildren from an early age. To achieve
this
, teachers can be role models for their young students and create an environment where everyone shows good manners and respect to others regardless of their skin colour, race, and religion. When young students are encouraged to behave
this
 way from an early age, they are more likely to be flexible in society rather than going extreme with their beliefs when entering adulthood. In conclusion, the
government
 plays a crucial role in building a community where all the
people
 live in harmony in
this
 modern age, and in order to achieve
this
 goal, the
government
 should take several steps
such
 as organising cultural exhibitions, arranging regular meetings for leaders from different religions, and training young kids not to be judgemental.
Submitted by sirenaphyo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cosmopolitan
  • inclusive policies
  • cultural exchange
  • integration
  • community centers
  • anti-discrimination
  • awareness campaigns
  • support systems
  • diversity
  • equal opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: