Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #money #care #education

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There are two controversial perspectives heating up a debate over whether it is necessary for the government to invest national funds in the healthcare

system

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for old people.

While

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some claim that the government should do so, the opposite makes a statement that

money

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should be spent more on educational institutions for youngsters.

While

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the former is valid to some extent, I think it is best to combine both mentioned opinions. Without a shadow of a doubt, spending

money

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on health care for the elderly is of necessity. The reason that the ageing population is becoming

such

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a popular phenomenon in every country, enhancing the elderly’s health can provide a stronger labour workforce with valuable experience.

For example

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, the USA is one of the first countries which offer its citizens medical services in form of personal insurance.

Hence

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, utilizing the

money

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to look after the elderly is imperatively important.

While

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the essence of spending

money

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on the medical

system

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is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if the significance of investing

money

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in the educational

system

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is ignored. On the grounds that youngsters nowadays are able to access education, investing more

money

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in institutions can enhance their studying environment. Doing so will provide a young labour workforce for a nation, which will develop the national economy in the future. Germany can be cited as an outstanding example which is the first country in the world to fully cover the cost of the educational

system

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Therefore

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, national funds should

also

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be spent on education for adolescents.

To sum up

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, health care and education are two main backbone industries

thus

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they should be spent more

money

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on.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Tue Mar 15 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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