Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Although
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some
people
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argue that younger
people
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have the
freedom
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to make
mistakes
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, other
people
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support adults should avoid for
children
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to make
mistakes
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. I believe that there are positive aspects in both arguments in terms of making younger
people
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’s life more colourful: the former situation brings them practical experiences and the latter gives them stronger
confidence
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. It is a beneficial point for
children
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to be able to make
mistakes
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through enjoying the
freedom
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in view of giving practical experiences, which lead to their successful lives.
For example
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, according to a recruiting survey, 80% of work
people
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who have successful stories said that the
mistakes
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that they had faced in their
freedom
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during their childhood were able to be considered as one of the factors that they can be
such
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a person. If their parents did not expose their
children
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to
mistakes
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by restricting their
freedom
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,
children
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who have the potential to become successful
people
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can not become
such
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people
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.
On the other hand
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, preventing youngers from suffering
mistakes
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is beneficial for making their
confidence
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successfully. If
children
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are indicated by elderly
people
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not to make
mistakes
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, it is easier to find a great method to complete tasks than the others, which lead to their
confidence
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strictly. To illustrate
this
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, an educational organization showed that 70% of
children
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established their
confidence
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by experiencing more successful activities compared with the others’ experiences.
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
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situation can be brought more easily when they are supported to find their directions by adults.
Thus
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, a lack of
adults'
Change noun form
adults

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
indications makes
children
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’s
confidence
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weak. In conclusion, both
children
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’s
freedom
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to make
mistakes
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and adults’ indications to flee from
mistakes
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are advantaged for
children
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because there is a possibility for them to find greater practical exercises and their
confidence
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.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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