Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

#health #people

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Lesser

people

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enjoy strolling, which has become an increasingly pressing concern in contemporary society.

This

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essay will examine the primary causes contributing to

this

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issue,

as well as

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its significant repercussions.

Additionally

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, potential solutions to solve these problems will be explored in

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essay. On the one hand, there are some main reasons why walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer

people

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are ambling

this

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day.

Firstly

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people

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nowadays are too busy to spend time sauntering. The amount of work each person needs to finish every day has increased significantly so they do not have enough time for walking.

Similarly

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, the efficiency might not be high if the duration for strolling is not sufficiently long.

Secondly

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, the rise of cities and increasing car ownership has made ambling less convenient and safe for many.

People

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usually choose private car duel to the length of distance they need to travel,

besides

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that is

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the fear of crime and traffic accidents can deter

people

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from walking.

For instance

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, Detroit in the USA has historically faced significant crime issues, which can prevent

people

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from walking, especially at night. Fortunately, several measures could be taken to alleviate

this

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problem. The first solution would be encouraging strolling breaks and providing facilities for cyclists and pedestrians. The government can reduce the number of working hours and motivate

people

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to participate in sauntering every day. Another solution is promoting the benefits of walking for physical and mental health. With the emphasis on financial gain, many individuals prioritize money over health, the media can play a role in reminding

people

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of the importance of taking care of themselves.

Besides

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that, organizing walking competitions and events to make sautering fun and social

also

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can encourage

people

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to walk. In conclusion,

it is clear that

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there are various reasons for what happened things, and steps need to be taken by the government and individuals to tackle

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problem. It can be predicted that with appropriate funding and implementation of these suggested measures,

this

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issue would likely be alleviated in the next years.

Submitted by mgnm140307 on Sun Aug 18 2024

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task achievement

While your essay addresses the topic well and provides some relevant examples, the use of more detailed and specific examples would strengthen your arguments. Try to include examples from various sources or situations to give a broader perspective.

coherence cohesion

You have a well-structured essay with clear paragraphs, but occasionally, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.

task achievement

Your essay responds to the task prompt comprehensively, addressing both the reasons and potential solutions for the decline in walking.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

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Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficlult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antartica. What are benefits or disadvantages for tourists visiting such places?

Many people these days have computer, laptops, telephones at their homes for work. Do you thibk, working from home has more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons

Some scientists think that very soon computers will be more intelligent than humans. While some people think it is a positive development, others say it has adverse effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that governments must apply high taxes to provide good public services for everyone. Give your opinion.