Some people think that giving children a certain amount of money every week will help them have fewer financial problems in the future . To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often believed that it is easier for
children
to manage financial problems when they are given a certain amount of money
each week. I partially agree with this
, for they are more likely to calculate their budget regardless of the potential risk of wasting it on unnecessary goods.
On the one hand, those who are provided with money
each week are better able to manage their saving so as not to waste it. In other words
, they are encouraged to calculate their spending including tax with more experiences of shopping, which makes children
more serious about their transactions. For instance
, some children
even keep records of their spending so they can have a clearer sense of the prices that each item costs, encouraging them to make plans ahead of their shopping so they will not get confused having no money
. Consequently
, children
with a regular income tend to spend money
more strategically to avoid such
an unfortunate situation.
On the other hand
, providing a certain amount of money
to children
may promote unnecessary shopping due to
increasing savings. Indeed, they tend to regard money
as less valuable as they receive it regularly, which discourages them from considering the necessity of products in their lives. For example
, many children
often spend money
on new items or tools for their online games, only to find them useless. Thus
, their immaturity causes more trouble as they are often not careful and spend over their budgets, which they would regret later.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that giving money
to children
weekly makes it easier for them to manage it in their later lives since they are more encouraged to be responsible for their purchases. However
, it often causes more problems due to
the habit of spending money
that exceeds their budget.Submitted by mizuho on
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coherence cohesion
Use more varied cohesive devices and linking words to make the essay flow better. While coherence is good, some transitions could be improved to enhance the readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is clear, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which provides a strong framework for your argument.
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