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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development
In
this
 day and age, medical care has advanced profoundly.
Consequently
, not only have people lived more but
also
, the
life
 expectancy has increased. Herein, we will discuss why I believe the disadvantages of
this
 phenomenon can overshadow its
advantages
. On the one hand, the ongoing mortality transition has substantial societal
advantages
. Foremost, achieving immortality is a long-held dream - which makes
this
 happening pleasing.
Thus
, individuals have been able to spend their
life
 gaily. To exemplify, If one believes that each person will live for 100 years, presumably, he would not be terrified by the prevalence of death throughout his
life
.
On the other hand
, we cannot afford to underestimate the repercussions of
this
 transition.
Firstly
, rarely does living more yield a prosperous
life
 in old age. Because the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 process weakens the immune system and people will be more vulnerable. To cite an example, having communicable diseases or protracted non-communicable diseases is commonplace amongst aged members of each society.
Additionally
, old individuals lose self-dependence whatsoever. Because day after day, they are getting more dependent on others for doing their daily rituals
such
 as getting ready for ceremonies, enrolling in physically demanding jobs, etc.
Finally
, the unemployment rate will undergo a significant change. One who is aged has broader experience.
As a result
, he asks for more prosperity with better payment in their employment. Little these job opportunities are provided, their satisfaction rate will decrease.
Thus
, these demerits overwhelm the explored
advantages
 profoundly. In conclusion, while the explored trend has
advantages
such
 as brightening the
life
 of people, it has some mentioned disadvantages, namely being more vulnerable and less independent which overweight its merits.
Submitted by Reza on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
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