IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The government should allocate more fund to the educational sector than health sector.At what extent do you agree or disagree.

#government #fund #sector #health
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It is stated that the government should
prioratise
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prioritise
 funding
education
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 over
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health
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the health
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 sector. In my opinion, both
health
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 and
education
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 should equally be important in the government's
budgetbecause
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budget because
 of the following reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, without a healthy population, you can not educate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Healt
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Health
Heart
 of a family
unitis
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unit is
 quite
importnt
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important
, as children cannot be educated if
thiey
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they
 are ill. A healthy population not only gives a boost to the economy
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 ensure a bright future
to
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for
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 the nation.
On the other hand
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,
education
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 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primarily the best way to provide
a
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an
show examples
 effective and
afficient
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efficient
 workforce.
For example
Linking Words
, there will be no doctors , nurses, engineers without a good
education
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system
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. To ensure a
propoer
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proper
education
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system
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, the government needs to invest in it,
hence
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, it is both
education
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 and
health
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 are
similarly
Linking Words
improtant
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important
.
Secondly
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, disease
controll
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control
 can only be achieved through a better medical
system
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.
For instance
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,
CVID19
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the CVID19
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 pandemic was contained and protection vaccinations were administered by counties
such
Linking Words
 as Australia
,
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apply
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 because the medical
system
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 is commendable and is a result of
receiveing
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receiving
suffient
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sufficient
 funding.
Likewise
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, the knowledge to conduct
reseach
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research
 and find a
preventetive
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preventative
preventive
machanism
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mechanism
 for diseases can only be
achived
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achieved
 through good
education
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the world did not have the
scientistto
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scientist to
scientist
reseach
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research
in
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apply
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to COVID19 virus, the number of deaths could be even more.
Education
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 was the key tool that created these scientists.
Therefore
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,
benefits
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the benefits
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 of investing in
education
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is
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are
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for
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apply
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more than its
drwbacks
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drawbacks
. To sum up, for a country
education
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 and
health
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 are
equaly
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equally
 important
,
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apply
show examples
 because it helps to improve the economy, plus assists in fighting diseases.
Submitted by kanchanal on

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