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Band 5.5

In the future all cars ,buses and trucks will be driveless.The only people travalling inside these vehicles will be passengers . Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicle outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driveless #people #vehicles #passengers #vehicle
Many
people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that one day
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicles have no drivers. From now on, the drivers
were
Wrong verb form
will be
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 replaced by the automatic system which
controls
Wrong verb form
is controlled
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 by advanced automation. From my point of view, there are both benefits and drawbacks from a perspective. In my opinion, there are many advantages of driverless in the future.
Firstly
, it will decrease the accidents that
causing
Change the form of the verb
caused
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 by human errors.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human effectiveness could be wrong as their illness. It
also
 impacts to make a decision when they drive
by
Change preposition
on
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 their
owns
Wrong verb form
own
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.
Second,
it is more comfortable for
people
 who have long hours of driving. Yet, they could have enough sleep and relax.
Moreover
, the development of the system will give more acknowledges
about
Change preposition
to
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 higher innovation. So, the adolescents could learn a specific lesson that improves their skills.
By contrast
, some
people
 still
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that higher technology lacks
the empathized
Wrong verb form
empathy
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 as they make a decision by using an algorithm that cannot aware
people
 sense.
It is clear that
 they do not trust in these.
In addition
, the disruption of technology affects
the
Correct article usage
apply
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regular occupations which means the drivers will lose
careers
Correct pronoun usage
their careers
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. An instance, in Thailand, most
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
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 in
this
 field are
elder
Replace the word
elderly
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that
Correct word choice
and
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 no other proficiency to find a new job. So, they would be unemployed. In conclusion, I strongly
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that the benefits of the new technology as 'driverless' would be more advantages than disadvantages.
Nevertheless
, we have to be concerned about the problems of the
labour
Correct your spelling
labourers
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 who were affected by the disruption.
Submitted by nurna_nadia on

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task response
Ensure that all points are directly relevant to the task prompt. Include more discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles specifically.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing ideas more clearly and cohesively. Use transitions to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.
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