In the past, people lived in the same place in their life. However, it is common that now people change their place and often live in different places during their life. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

People
used to stay in the
place
where they were born in the past.
However
, moving to
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples
to live has become a trend in today's society.
This
essay explains the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
phenomenon and why I think it is a positive development. Many
people
choose to settle in new places as they enter
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
phase of
life
where they pursue higher education or work a better
job
.
However
, some circumstances
such
as the lack of
job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
in the hometown may
also
be the main cause of urbanization.
For example
, a lot of
people
coming from rural areas in Indonesia move to Jakarta, which is the capital city of Indonesia, in
hope
Correct article usage
the hope
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
finding a
job
as there are only limited jobs available in their hometown.
As a result
,
people
often move from one
place
to another to look for better opportunities in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Although
this
may have some drawbacks, living in a new area offers multiple benefits to the individual.
Firstly
, it will bring changes to
life
as the aim of moving is to find better opportunities.
Moreover
, not staying in the same
place
means that
people
get out of their comfort zone which will open more doors to greater things.
Furthermore
,
people
get to learn about the culture and
custom
Fix the agreement mistake
customs
show examples
of the new
place
, so they gain new knowledge.
For instance
, a friend of mine quits her stressful
job
in Medan to shift
career
Correct pronoun usage
her career
show examples
in Australia where she gets to experience
work-
Correct article usage
a work-life
show examples
life
balance
while
getting paid properly.
Therefore
, moving to a new
place
will bring positive
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
development to many individuals. In conclusion, living in different areas is now popular among
people
because they want to experience new things in
life
, and I believe it is a positive development that should be encouraged as it might lead to better opportunities in
life
.
Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider adding more varied examples to further illustrate the points. This could enhance the persuasiveness and comprehensiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using linking words and phrases can help improve the flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, setting a clear framework for the essay arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task by addressing both the reasons for the trend and its impact as a positive development.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Relocation
  • Globalization
  • Career advancement
  • Personal growth
  • Technological advancements
  • Mobility
  • Urbanization
  • Quality of life
  • Cultural diversity
  • Family dynamics
  • Work-life balance
  • Environmental conditions
  • Global mobility
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Lifestyle preferences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: