In the past, people lived in the same place in their life. However, it is common that now people change their place and often live in different places during their life. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
People
used to stay in the place
where they were born in the past. However
, moving to another places
to live has become a trend in today's society. Replace the adjective
another place
other places
This
essay explains the reasons of
Change preposition
for
this
phenomenon and why I think it is a positive development.
Many people
choose to settle in new places as they enter new
phase of Add an article
a new
life
where they pursue higher education or work a better job
. However
, some circumstances such
as the lack of job
opportunity
in the hometown may Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
also
be the main cause of urbanization. For example
, a lot of people
coming from rural areas in Indonesia move to Jakarta, which is the capital city of Indonesia, in hope
Correct article usage
the hope
for
finding a Change preposition
of
job
as there are only limited jobs available in their hometown. As a result
, people
often move from one place
to another to look for better opportunities in their life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Although
this
may have some drawbacks, living in a new area offers multiple benefits to the individual. Firstly
, it will bring changes to life
as the aim of moving is to find better opportunities. Moreover
, not staying in the same place
means that people
get out of their comfort zone which will open more doors to greater things. Furthermore
, people
get to learn about the culture and custom
of the new Fix the agreement mistake
customs
place
, so they gain new knowledge. For instance
, a friend of mine quits her stressful job
in Medan to shift career
in Australia where she gets to experience Correct pronoun usage
her career
work-
Correct article usage
a work-life
life
balance while
getting paid properly. Therefore
, moving to a new place
will bring positive a
development to many individuals.
In conclusion, living in different areas is now popular among Remove the article
apply
people
because they want to experience new things in life
, and I believe it is a positive development that should be encouraged as it might lead to better opportunities in life
.Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on
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task achievement
Consider adding more varied examples to further illustrate the points. This could enhance the persuasiveness and comprehensiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using linking words and phrases can help improve the flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, setting a clear framework for the essay arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task by addressing both the reasons for the trend and its impact as a positive development.