IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A magazine wants to include contributions from its readers for an article called ‘The book that influenced me most’. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine about the book that influenced you most. In your letter: • describe what this book was about • explain how this book influenced you • say whether this book would be likely to influence other people

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to recommend
Correct article usage
the
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a
Correct article usage
the
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book
Use synonyms
 "India Independence" written by Abdul Kalam Azad as I admire
this
Linking Words
book
Use synonyms
. The
book
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 is all about the movement for Indian Independence which covers all the political events from the formation of the Indian National Congress party to liberation from England.
This
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book
Use synonyms
 explains that it was a joint movement by all the indigenous ethnicities Hindus, Muslims, and Sikhs. Renowned activists Gandhi, Nehru, and Azad were imprisoned for 10 years. They all were in favour of a united India which is why they came up with many ideas, especially the cabinet mission that ensures the autonomy of regions and states where only finance, defence, and foreign affairs were national subjects and all other powers were transferred to regions so they can exercise
accordingly
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. It is a topic of interest for Indian, Pakistan, and Bangladesh citizens so they can know the facts about the whole struggle. I look forward to hearing from you. Let me know if you need any
further
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 information. Yours faithfully, Haris Khan

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task achievement
Expand your explanation on how the book influenced you personally. You've done well in describing the book but sharing your personal takeaways and how they impacted your thoughts or actions would make your letter more compelling.
task achievement
Consider adding a paragraph specifically dedicated to how this book might influence others, tying this back to your personal experience or offering a broader perspective on its potential impact.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your ideas from one paragraph to the next, making your letter more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a consistent and appropriate writing tone throughout your letter. While your tone is generally suitable, refining your greeting and closing can help enhance professionalism and respect.
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