IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#space #exploration #money
There is a controversial statement heating a debate over the fact that the
discovery
 of the universe is too costly and the
governments
 should fund for other significant aspects. I consider myself a proponent of
this
 argument. In terms of
space
exploration
, there are several reasons why
this
 is not really unnecessary. Every
discoveray
Correct your spelling
discovery
 have its own meaning for society, and
space
discovery
 is not an exception since it provides us with a considerable amount of knowledge that play an important role for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human being.
For instance
, ancient scientists found that the Earth went around the Sun, and people based on that study to calculate days, months and years.
Thus
, the world is facing overpopulation so we will soon need to seek other planets to reside in. For those specific reasons,
space
exploration
 still needs decent funding from authorities.
On the other hand
, there are still many urgent problems that
governments
 should prior and spend
money
 on. To be specific, medical health and education need to be specialized in
instead
 of
space
exploration
 or any other elements due to the fact that they are the backbone industry. It is undoubted that no economy can survive without the labour workforce, which requires medical service and knowledge to maintain productivity, yet many countries still suffer from the lack of health care.
For example
, Brazil's authority has spent
money
 on erecting a stadium for World Cup 2014,
then
 have to face the pandemic without the funding for the vaccine.
Hence
,the
discovery
 of
space
 can be postponed for a bit if the
governments
 use the
money
 to solve the problem of residents since
this
 is a lot more affordable compared to the funding for
space
exploration
. In conclusion, I believed that
governments
 can still spend
money
 on the
discovery
 of the universe, yet they should focus on other important aspects of life.
Submitted by van.ngh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exorbitant
  • myriad
  • pressing issues
  • allocated
  • advances
  • direct results
  • pave the way
  • uninhabitable
  • inspirational aspects
  • fuels innovation
  • shared goal
  • intellectual capital
  • budget overruns
  • tangible benefits
  • rationale
  • dedicating
  • returns on investment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: