IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
students
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 in universities aim to learn
subjects
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 other than the main ones included in their curriculum.
In contrast
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, others are of the opinion that it has a higher level of importance to dedicate all their
time
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 and efforts to studying for a qualification. On the one hand, some are convinced that other
subjects
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 might be important for their future career. It can help them to become more erudite, expanding their horizons and being able to support any topic when talking to their potential clients or colleagues. It is part and parcel of many deals and collaborations with their work partners. To illustrate, a lot of businessmen succeed because of their soft skills, the ability to talk to their partners, which entails signing contracts and brings them a lot of money. If they cannot negotiate, they will lose. Others, including me, are of the opinion that it is more important to devote all the
time
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 to specialised
subjects
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. To become good professionals,
students
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 have to thoroughly learn all the materials which require significant , if not all their
time
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, which means they do not have an opportunity to focus on the material related to different areas.
This
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 can pave the way for their progress and success in the future.
For example
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, medical
students
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 who have to learn all the functionality of the human body in order to save people’s lives, quite frequently, have to stay up late and do not even have enough
time
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 to entertain themselves or relax.
Therefore
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, they cannot be involved in learning any
subjects
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 other than medical ones. In conclusion, I take the view that
students
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 have to dedicate all their
time
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 to learning specialised
subjects
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 because it is crucial for their success in the future , and there is not enough
time
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 to be distracted by other information.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. This helps the reader understand the main point quickly.
Task Achievement
Make sure to explain complex ideas in simpler terms so they are easier to understand.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples related to both sides of the argument. This strengthens your points.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear argument for both sides of the topic, showing a good understanding of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint, which is a strong way to finish an essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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