Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Nowadays, in

this

disruptive society,

music

still plays an essential role in everyone's lives all over the world. Some individuals believe that

music

can connect people of different cultures and ages all together. From my point of view, I agree with

this

statement. In the following paragraphs, the reasons supporting my perspective will be examined in detail before a conclusion is reached.

First

of all, I believe that

music

can bring people together by listening to it, even if they do not speak the same language or live in the same country. At present, our world is

boarderless

Correct your spelling

borderless

; we can connect to each other globally without travelling.

Furthermore

, there are several applications and websites that have

music

streaming,

such

as Youtube, Soundcloud, Spotify, and so on. These will help everyone easily access any

song

from many artists around the world.

Furthermore

, applications and websites will assist individuals in exploring many cultures through the songs they are listening to or watching.

In particular

, watching

music

videos (MV), the contents in MV will give them a widespread aspect in culture.

In addition

, I think that

music

is able to bring back someone's good old days. As we can see now, there are artists who are combining the golden oldies songs and remixing them with their own instruments or lyrics.

For instance

, Bruno Mars selects the old

song

"Beat It" by Michael Jackson and remixes it with his melody and beat. After he released

this

song

, millions of people, either old or young, felt very pleasurable and addicted to

this

song

again. To sum

Add a comma

,up

show examples

everything that has been started so far, I strongly believe that whether they have different cultures or ages,

music

will connect them together.

Submitted by pattyzz1357 on Thu Mar 17 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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