IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals, and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #foods #food #impact #families #individuals #society
It was suggested by dieticians that we should consume less fast
food
 in our daily life and I am totally on their side. My opinion is that we should spend more
time
 on traditional cuisine
instead
 of fast
food
. One possible problem is that eating too much fast
food
 brings a reverse impact on one's health, especially those who are not fans of exercise and take fast
food
 frequently. According to scientific statistics, there is much more heat in fast
food
,
such
 as fry chips, baken chicken, and so on, than fruits and vegetables, so it is easy to lead to an obesity problem for one who enjoys fast
food
 too often. As we all know, heart attack, high blood pressure, and many other chronic diseases can be caused by obesity.
In addition
 to that, taking fast
food
 outside will definitely make a reduction of people's family reunion
time
 with family members. Cooking
food
 and sharing with families at home was extremely relaxing and pleasurable, it will
also
 contribute to a better relationship with them. While eating fast
food
 in the restaurant is difficult to achieve the same effect, people usually finish their dinner at a fast pace speed and go out of the restaurant.
Nevertheless
, we can see some benefits of fast
food
 at the same
time
 when we don't have adequate
time
 to enjoy a meal and need to go back to the workplace as quick as possible, the
time
-saving fast
food
 can fill out stomach in
time
. In conclusion, the disadvantages of having fast
food
 surpass its benefits, especially for personal health and family relationship, though it is an option for us when people don't have
time
 to cook themselves.
Submitted by zhouhao on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: