Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
In many
societies
gap years are common for young people who finished Add a comma
societies,
school
and will engage in tertiary courses. While
many argue that a break
between educational engagements is valuable for teenagers to reflect on future careers
and work, some believe this
is a waste of time. In my view, take
some time off before going to university can be beneficial for those who need a Wrong verb form
taking
break
from study pressures and to figure out what they want to do for their lives.
There are some people who believes
that taking a Change the verb form
believe
break
between school
and university will negatively affect the person’s future because they should focus on their careers
early in order to progress in life. As an example, some of the most successful business people, such
as CEOs and high level
managers, never stopped studying after finishing Add a hyphen
high-level
school
and have a collection of diplomas in Masters and Doctorates. However
, in my opinion, studying continually does not work for every individual, especially when they are young.
Finishing school
can be extremely challenging for many adolescents causing high stress as assessments and responsibilities become more rigid. Thus
, having a break
after completing the secondary can be not only favourable for their mental health,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
a great opportunity to reflect on future careers
. Moreover
, it is possible for the young to find a job during this
time, which will support them to pay education fees and strength
their resumes. Replace the word
strengthen
This
happened a lot to millennials, for example
, who are now changing careers
after figuring out what
they studied at university is not what they what they wanted for their lives. Correct word choice
that what
Hence
I believe gap years can be valuable for those who choose to take a break
after completing school
.
In conclusion, although
some disagree that gap years can be positive, I believe that it can be a great pause and opportunity to reflect on their upcoming career and acquire work experience.Submitted by betinhaa00 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on presenting a clear and balanced structure in your argument. Clearly separate the points for and against gap years to enhance readability.
task achievement
To improve this section, enhance the depth of your explanations and examples. Provide more detailed reasoning behind your opinions to make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents multiple viewpoints and comes to a clear conclusion, which is a good approach
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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