Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In many
societies
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societies,
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gap years are common for young people who finished
school
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and will engage in tertiary courses.
While
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many argue that a
break
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between educational engagements is valuable for teenagers to reflect on future
careers
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and work, some believe
this
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is a waste of time. In my view,
take
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taking
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some time off before going to university can be beneficial for those who need a
break
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from study pressures and to figure out what they want to do for their lives. There are some people who
believes
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believe
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that taking a
break
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between
school
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and university will negatively affect the person’s future because they should focus on their
careers
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early in order to progress in life. As an example, some of the most successful business people,
such
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as CEOs and
high level
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high-level
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managers, never stopped studying after finishing
school
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and have a collection of diplomas in Masters and Doctorates.
However
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, in my opinion, studying continually does not work for every individual, especially when they are young. Finishing
school
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can be extremely challenging for many adolescents causing high stress as assessments and responsibilities become more rigid.
Thus
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, having a
break
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after completing the secondary can be not only favourable for their mental health
,
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apply
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but
also
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a great opportunity to reflect on future
careers
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.
Moreover
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, it is possible for the young to find a job during
this
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time, which will support them to pay education fees and
strength
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strengthen
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their resumes.
This
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happened a lot to millennials,
for example
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, who are now changing
careers
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after figuring out
what
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that what
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they studied at university is not what they what they wanted for their lives.
Hence
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I believe gap years can be valuable for those who choose to take a
break
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after completing
school
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. In conclusion,
although
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some disagree that gap years can be positive, I believe that it can be a great pause and opportunity to reflect on their upcoming career and acquire work experience.
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coherence cohesion
Work on presenting a clear and balanced structure in your argument. Clearly separate the points for and against gap years to enhance readability.
task achievement
To improve this section, enhance the depth of your explanations and examples. Provide more detailed reasoning behind your opinions to make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents multiple viewpoints and comes to a clear conclusion, which is a good approach

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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