nowadays people live longer after they retire. how does this affect individuals and society? What can be done about this?

Today some of the workforces enjoy a longer life after quitting working.

This

essay will discuss one of the main problems associated with continuing to live after ending work and suggest a viable solution. The community who live long after they retire bring about psychological issues for those who are out of work. A recent study by Oxford University found long life is possible to bring about imposing psychological diseases than the others busy with working by 40%.

Moreover

, the rate of depression is growing after retirement because of living longer than cohorts and being lonely and sad.

This

problem affects not only them but

also

others who are living with them.

Consequently

, living after retirement might lead to experiencing

this

issue. A solution to

this

worrying problem is to allocate recreational facilities and determine the financial resources to solve their problem by the government.

For example

, building many parks and free sports clubs in Germany for old people in different parts .

This

place not only creates relaxation but

also

entertains them and

this

person can

also

use recreational and sports facilities.

Then

in the other part of these places people can communicate with each other.

Thus

, these centres increase morale and reduce psychological issues in society. In summary, one of the chief problems is living more after the end of work can bring about many problems and

this

issue affects the society. It is predicted

this

creates a recreational environment for

this

group of people.

Submitted by alisharifi.hse on Thu Mar 17 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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nowadays people live longer after they retire. how does this affect individuals and society? What can be done about this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Many people believe that a rigorous diet and intensive workout in a short spam can help achieve fitness goals, whereas others think that healthy eating and moderate exercise can provide better long-term outcomes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Question- Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?