IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#murderers #death #penalty #society #murder #life #prison #punishment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that by punishing
murderers
Use synonyms
 with the death penalty, society is
also
Linking Words
 guilty of committing murder.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
life
Use synonyms
 in prison is a better punishment for
murderers
Use synonyms
.
Correct your spelling
I
show examples
In
Correct your spelling
I
show examples
 strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 topic, as the
murderers
Use synonyms
 are those
people
Use synonyms
 who
doesnot
Correct your spelling
does not
doesn't
 care or think once when taking a human's
life
Use synonyms
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society will
also
Linking Words
 demand to do the same to them
then
Linking Words
 is there any difference between
murderers
Use synonyms
 and normal
people
Use synonyms
?.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
murderers
Use synonyms
 are the individuals who are ill in their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 to create and spread violence and fear in the
world
Use synonyms
. According to some research these mentally retarded
people
Use synonyms
 gain satisfaction in some way when taking someone's
life
Use synonyms
, they enjoy that moment and some are so ahead of the line which
differentiate
Change the verb form
differentiates
show examples
 the sane from insane, they get addicted to that feeling and continues to spread terror in the
world
Use synonyms
 to achieve pleasure.
However
Linking Words
, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of criminals should not be given the death penalty because it will give them an easy way out of the
world
Use synonyms
. They should be kept in jail for
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 rest of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 lives so that they can feel the pain and torment for what they did and it will
also
Linking Words
 create
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 example for other violent individuals who think of crossing the line of sanity and
commit
Wrong verb form
committing
show examples
such
Linking Words
 crimes, they should know what will happen for rest of their miserable lives if they are willing to cross that line.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, these criminals should rot in jail cells for their remaining
life
Use synonyms
 in despair so that it will create
such
Linking Words
 an example for the whole society that even by thinking of their situation, one will have fear in mind for not committing
such
Linking Words
 serious crimes. Ultimately
this
Linking Words
 will keep peace around the
world
Use synonyms
 and will discourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 doing
such
Linking Words
 inhuman crimes.
Submitted by bhavint3393 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • capital punishment
  • irreversible
  • deterrence
  • rehabilitation
  • human rights
  • ethical dilemma
  • state-sponsored
  • vindicate
  • incarceration
  • due process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: