In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some contend that the growing population of elderly
people
imposes burdens on governments' shoulders,
while
others believe that
this
demographic growth is far more beneficial in the face of its downturns.
Although
this
phenomenon comes with its fair share of benefits, I have an inclination towards the former perspective. The higher number of elderly
people
offers benefits at both
society
and family levels. Elderly
people
are great sources of experience and knowledge. It is believed that their wisdom can be used in socioeconomic decisions in order to prevent repetitive errors.
For instance
, the knowledge and experience of an old person who lived during the Second World War can be used in order to address conflicts in their primary stages and prevent devastating consequences.
Secondly
, grandparents are a great help to working
parents
. In today's
society
, where
parents
spend most of their sociable hours in professional settings, having a reliable source to take care of their beloved children has a positive impact on both
parents
and their children's well-being. By alleviating stress levels and childcare concerns among
parents
and offering thorough care through which meaningful relationships can be built between grandparents and grandchildren, elderly
people
's presence
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
invaluable advantages.
However
, the ever-growing population of
this
specific demographic not only imposes a
further
burden on the healthcare system but
also
endangers the
society
's economy. Old
people
have weak immunity systems and are more susceptible to diseases.
As a result
, they pay more visits to doctors and healthcare systems.
For instance
, polypharmacy and exorbitant prices of annual vaccinations are common problems that old citizens bring about.
Furthermore
, these retired citizens can have negative impacts on the economy. These
people
are usually unable to work efficiently at older ages and are asked to leave professional settings.
Therefore
, a growing population of
this
group presents a workforce shortage for industries, ultimately paralyzing the
society
's economy.
Additionally
, providing monthly pensions for elderly
people
is associated with higher taxes and more pressure on lucrative individuals. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
populations bring about problems that outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay provides a well-rounded response to the prompt but could include more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument. Try to incorporate more varied examples that demonstrate the points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear purpose and links the main ideas more explicitly. Consider using more linking words to enhance the logical structure and flow.
introduction conclusion
The introduction effectively presents the two perspectives and clearly states a position on the issue.
logical structure
Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, making the essay easy to follow.
supported main points
The essay highlights both the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, providing a balanced view on the subject.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: